So, you’ve committed yourself to someone. At times, you may overthink and ask yourself if you’re truly happy. The deciding factor in this is self-awareness. Knowing yourself and your own worth is key. These signs will help you realize whether or not you’re settling for less than what you deserve.
Fear of loneliness has you engulfed.
Are you in a relationship because when you think of not being in a relationship, you feel you’re going to be alone? So you’d rather be in a relationship that’s not fulfilling, rather than being alone. One positive practice to fix this is to embrace solitude.
Solitude and loneliness are two diversely variant terms. One who knows of the perks of solitude can never be alone. You are enough for yourself, period. And you are always going to be.
The reason for being with someone should be growth. You feel satisfied and content. If it’s not there, your relationship isn’t really very fulfilling.
They’re MIA when you need them.
I can have a puppet talk to me all day, if that’s what I need. But it’s not the words or well-constructed statements that get you through life. When bad things happen, you need to know that your partner is there to cheer you up, hear you out and work with you to make things better.
You wear a façade, because your real selves don’t vibe.
There’s a part of you that only you know and there’s another part that the only people that you’re absolutely comfortable with know. Those people are usually your parents and your siblings or very tight friends. If the person you’re with doesn’t help bring out your true self, let alone have a positive connection with, you’re in the dark. Be with people who you never have to fear being judged or even scrutinized for a second, who love you so much they’d call your wrongs right. That’s the kind of affection everybody deserves.
You’re covering up for them too often.
It’s easy for us to make excuses for the special people in our life. To some extent, maybe it’s acceptable and makes sense, but watch out if you’re doing it too much and too often. This too, is a defense mechanism. Denial is the first stage of grief. The picture perfect image of your loved one in your head is too flawless for you to actually surrender to facts and admit he/she is wrong. So you cover up for them. Your family and friends notice it too. If you’re doing it too much, it may be time to switch to the next levels of grief and reach acceptance.
You idealize couples around you and feel inadequate.
One of the basic signs of unhappiness is inadequacy, the feeling that channels you into a vicious loop of comparisons that don’t end. If that’s what you do all the time you’re with your partner, chances are you don’t feel blessed enough. And if this becomes chronic, there’s going to come a time when this ungratefulness is going to suck the love out of your relationship at all levels, leaving it hollow. So, before that happens, take steps to change the dynamics of your relationship meaningfully.
You’re always calling the shots.
Whether it’s a simple text or vacationing, you are the only one who stays on his/her feet, calling the shots, proposing the planning. You’re tired and you want to feel valued too. But it’s not coming from the other side and you can’t seem to get your message through either. You’re fatiguing yourself, physically and emotionally. It’s not healthy and needs to be fixed.
You have your close ones worried for you.
You can dodge yourself, but not your mom. People who love and care about you notice your mood throughout the day, because they are concerned and want to know if there’s something upsetting you. Sometimes, they can be wrong, but who are you kidding? If you have people worried about you, that’s not an encouraging sign. So, listen to them and don’t let anything take you with its flow to where you do not belong.
They’re free of passion for anything in life.
Ambitions are imperative. People without an aim, who are just living for the sake of it, are never the right kind of people. Gradually and eventually, they are going to want you to join them on their yacht of aimlessness, which was never your motto. So beware!
They fail to make you feel like their #1.
One thing that’s primary is the feeling of being someone’s top priority. That’s because all the comforting feelings of being able to trust and count on someone sprout from this. When you know that someone isn’t going to leave you alone in anything and how because of him/her, life is going to suck less, you’re in a good place.
You fight about petty stuff.
You could’ve let it go, but no. You had to. You won’t wake up for cardio early, but if it’s about having an argument over something, you’re ready to go. This isn’t healthy. When you’re in a trusting, tuneful relationship you don’t look for reasons to fight. Issue-mongering is the last thing on your mind. Fighting about petty stuff is a sign that you want something to come along and end it.
Communication is a miss.
The value of being able to talk feelings out can’t be stressed enough. That’s one thing that is going to make your days and nights smoothly transition into each other until you have a colossal pile of them to cherish over. The ability to speak your thoughts and have the message delivered and understood on the other side is amazing. If you keep miscommunicating, and hardly talk or share your thoughts, you’re definitely losing it.
You are NOT happy.
You’re generally either happy or sad. Are there in-betweens? There certainly are, but all of them can be categorically grouped under one of the binary states. So, one way or the other, one is always able to decipher where one’s mind belongs. If you’re not happy, you need to know why and kill the reason!