Proof That Idiotic Men Can Get Girls Too

There’s hope for everyone!

Guys can get pretty thirsty. They come up with all sorts of bizarre pick-up lines that will never work, like “did it hurt when you fell from heaven?!” And yet, they insist on using these lines again and again. And again. And again.

Because unfortunately, sometimes, some of these moves actually do the trick.

These Reddit users gave us the embarrassing and awkward moves that actually got them their gal!

Get hit by a car, get a girl!

“I got hit by a car on Euclid in St. Louis.”

“There was a girl nearby.”

“It wasn’t bad and I wasn’t really hurt. She asked if I was ok and I said everything would be better if I had her number.”

Reddit | [deleted]

This is NOT extreme at all!

“Really attractive girl at work said she would totally get with me if I pierced my nipples.”

“Couldn’t afford to have it professionally done so desperate times came to desperate measures. I found my mother’s sewing kit and did it myself.”

“Pain was so unbearable I almost passed out. Ended up going down to my knees and finishing the job. One ended up a little off center.”

“Showed up to work with a sewing needle in each nipple and erasers on each end so I wouldn’t poke myself throughout the day.”

“We ended up hooking up for maybe two weeks.”

Pinterest

Get you a guy who’ll dye his hair for you!

“How I met my wife by dying my hair jet black.”

“I was in college, and went to go get my haircut at one of these chain places in Walmart. This cute kind of alternative girl with pink hair was my hairstylist. I talked to her for a bit, and in order to keep talking to her I asked her to dye my dark brown hair jet black.”

“I’ve never dyed my hair before, but I figured it would give me an extra hour or so to talk to her. And it did. And it worked.”

“We went on a date that night after her shift. Went on a few more dates after that and then were in a relationship. It’s been 7+ years together now, the last two we’ve been married.”

Pinterest

If she could see you properly, she’d probably run screaming.

“I’m 6’4, she’s 5’1.”

“I think honestly she just can’t see me very well from down there.”

xoNECOLE

Maybe you could take a few tips from Mr. Darcy?

“I once asked out a woman on a date. She said no, but that she would go out with me if I read her favorite novel, which was Pride and Prejudice.”

“I promptly went to the library, checked out a copy, and began reading. I surprised her when I later casually said ‘I’m on chapter 10’.”

“She had been joking, but then she went on two dates with me. In a sense, I shouldn’t have done it because it showed that she could control me, which became a problem.”

“But at that time in my life, I really needed to go on dates. So, overall, it was a success. Pride and Prejudice is a boring novel, though.”

The Odyssey

Gotta catch the right one!

“Doing a Pokémon playthrough and describing my strategic choices.”

This is vague. I need to know which Pokémon he has captured, how many balls it took him to complete the task, and what level he is on.

Set the bar high, folks.

YouTube | Lost Pause

British accents can be pretty sexy though.

“British accent in Sweden.”

Wow. Sometimes it really doesn’t take much.

Playbuzz

How is old man in a thong an aphrodisiac?

“Convinced them to follow me down a dark road and then tricked them into looking at an old man in a thong.”

“The wonder and betrayal lit their face.”

Cruise Mates

So, you don’t actually have to shower regularly?

“Have a friend with bad hygiene. His wife ‘likes the smell of him’.”

“And it’s legit, she likes his funk.”

Confused Sandals

Yeah, sloth memes turn me on too… NOT.

“So…my freshman year of college I was at lunch with a female friend. She mentions that her roommate likes sloth memes as much as I do.”

“So I ask for her number and send her a sloth meme. I don’t remember which one. Anyways, I ended up losing my virginity to her less than a week later. tl;dr: sloth memes got me laid.”

Imgflip

He sounds like a hero!

“She fell off the stage while dancing at a nightclub and I caught her.”

“She was a solid 8.5 and I’m a 6.”

“No way I would have spent the night with her if I didn’t save her from breaking her neck haha.”

TV Tropes

We all need a wingman like that in our life.

“So I just got out of a four-year relationship about a month prior and this new girl shows up to work.”

“My friend saw that I was kinda down and told me, ‘Hey, why don’t you go ask for her number?’ And I said no, I wasn’t really in a place to see anyone.

“And the rest of the conversation went ‘Can I go ask her for her number for you?’

‘No.’

‘…would you be mad if I did that?’

‘Yes.’

‘…mad for more than 5 minutes?’

‘No.’

“And he went over there, got her number, I called, and the next two years have been some of the best of my life.”

Pitch Perfect Wiki

Get revenge AND a hot girl!

“[My] ex-gf and my ex-best friend [they’re together now] walk into the Jacuzzi I am in. I use the next 20 mins to strike up a conversation with the cute freshman (way hotter than my ex) next to me and get her number.”

“After I get the number I look at my ex and wink. I have not seen her more upset in a long time.”

Sizzle

Apparently magic tricks for three year olds also work on grown women.

“You know the hand trick where it appears that you are taking your fingers off, yeah that.”

Really?… REALLY?

YouTube | Joshua McDonald

He was lucky she liked pick-up lines.

“I knew a guy who was kinda weird in high school.”

“He had red hair. We dared him to hit on this girl while we were at an ice rink.”

“The rules: he could only use pickup lines. I forget which one he used, but as soon as he started, she exclaimed, ‘I LOVE PICKUP LINES.’

“They talked for the rest of the night and he got her number.”

Tumblr | sapphicfairy

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